1. Building on the wrong foundation
What are you building your house on? God’s principles or the world’s standards? The Bible or the opinion of your favorite talk show host? The timeless truth in scripture or what is trending on social media?
Scripture says that a house not built by the Lord is built in vain. First and foremost, we need a biblical foundation.
Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. (Psalm 127:1)
2. Nagging and arguing
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Nagging is pointless and can eat away at your marriage. When you find yourself feeling irritated over an issue with your husband, ask yourself if the issue will matter in light of eternity. If it won’t, let it go.
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. (Proverbs 21: 19)
3. Failing to appreciate the good qualities in their husbands
Not all husbands are romantic and attentive, and some aren’t very talkative. That does not mean they aren’t good men.
If your man works hard to provide for his family, and is a good father to his children, count your blessings. There are many women who would love to have man who is a good provider and who is not a deadbeat dad.
I’ve watched several women throw away good men in pursuit of a more romantic man or because they felt they deserved more in life. As a result, homes were destroyed, children’s lives were disrupted, and the women ended up financially destitute while in pursuit of a better life. The grass is not greener on the other side.
Respect your husband and focus on his good qualities.
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. (Proverbs 12: 4)
4. Being discontent
Discontentment is destructive, and Satan knows how to use it to his advantage. It started long ago in the Garden of Eden. Eve was discontent. God told her she could eat any fruit in the garden, except one. Instead of being glad for the abundance of fruit she could eat, she wanted the one she wasn’t supposed to have. Satan convinced her to doubt God’s word and to eat the forbidden fruit.
Eve threw away living in a garden of paradise to live in a world filled with pain and suffering. Don’t give in to discontentment. Remember Eve. It only takes one bad choice to ruin your life.
Learn to develop a thankful attitude. Choose to enjoy the good things God has blessed you with. Being content and living in peace with what you have is good for your health.
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. ( Proverbs 14: 30)
5. Being addicted to social media and cell phones
Social media and cell phones have a part in our lives, and they are wonderful when used in moderation. However, they should not take over our life or become our modern day idols.
Instead of updating your Facebook status multiple times a day, take a few minutes to drop a note or card in the mail to someone who is sick or recently had surgery. Take a meal to a family in need. Read to your kids or prepare a special dinner for your husband.
Don’t be afraid to turn off your cell phone. With the new smart phones, we have 24-hour access to the internet, email, and social media. Again, cell phones are wonderful inventions, but people have become so addicted to them that they are never disconnected from technology.
A few months ago, I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting a toddler who ran out into the street. The worst part of the incident was the fact that her mother never noticed, because she was walking and texting.
Young or old, it seems as if everyone is totally mesmerized by technology, and it is quietly destroying homes and families. How much more powerful we all would be in our walk of faith if we skimmed through the Bible as often as our social media sites and email.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (Proverbs 31: 27)
6. Not being a good steward of money
Buying things we don’t need, overspending at the grocery store, and too many trips to the local fast food place, are all ways for money to dribble away. I am guilty of all three.
It all begins when the grocery store sale flyer arrives in my mailbox. I see all the things on sale and decide to stock up on a few things. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially when the price is good and it’s for items I will use. The temptation comes when I end up going through every aisle in the store and purchasing things I don’t need.
Eating out too often is costly. This includes hitting the dollar menu at the local fast food place. Money that is dribbled away little by little adds up to a big financial drain over time.
Financial problems can put strain on a marriage and family relationships.
What would happen if we saved small amounts of money instead of spending it? Proverbs 13: 11 has the answer.
Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow.
7. Viewing children as a burden rather than a blessing
Being a mother requires a lot of sacrifice. It’s hard work even on the best days. But it is also the most rewarding thing you will ever do. Children should never be seen as obstacles standing in the way of career advancement or as cramping your social life.
Children are a blessing, and whatever you have to give up to be a parent is worth it. A career can be started at any time in your life, but you only have one chance to raise a child. You can always have a social life, but your child will only have one childhood.
Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from him. ( Psalm 127: 3)
8. Neglecting the home
Keeping house doesn’t mean you must adhere to a rigid cleaning schedule or have an immaculately decorated home. Caring for the home is overseeing what goes on in the home, as well as making it a safe and healthy environment for the family.
We’ve all heard the old saying, “If mama isn’t happy, nobody’s happy.” It’s true. As women, we have an amazing influence on our homes and families. We set the mood in the home and should take our role seriously.
A wise woman builds her home by working hard to meet the needs of those within her household. She is aware of what needs to be done and keeps her family well fed and clothed. She is available to offer faithful instruction to her growing children and others within her household.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26)
9. Putting too much focus on outward appearance
It doesn’t matter how much makeup you wear, or if you dress in the latest designer fashions, if your inside is ugly it will show on the outside.
That doesn’t mean outward appearance doesn’t matter. It does. Dressing appropriately and attractively is a good thing, but it’s not everything.
Do you have a harsh spirit or a quiet and gentle spirit? Are you encouraging others or tearing them down through unkind words or gossip? Are you loving others when they make mistakes or being judgmental?
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (Proverbs 11: 22)
10. Failing to accept the seasons of life
This one seems like common sense, but it is a real problem among women. Single women wish they were married. Married women long to be single again. Women with small children wish they had the freedom that older woman with grown children have. Older women miss the days of mothering small children and wish they could go back.
Every season of life requires sacrifice. Every season has good and bad points. If you have young children, you are busy and very limited in how much free time you have. It’s part of the mothering process. Time will pass and your day will arrive when you have more freedom.
If you are single, use this time to serve God fully. If you are married and have children, you must set aside time to meet the needs of a husband and family.
We may have seasons of good health and seasons of poor health. We have a season when we are young and a season of being old. Some seasons will definitely be more challenging than others, but that’s part of life.
Accepting the season you are in, and allowing God use you right where you are, is freeing. Willingly accept your current season and let go of seasons you are no longer in.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
God entrusted women with the ability to build their homes. Brick by brick we can build a home that will impact future generations. Each decision we make has the power to build or tear down our homes.
When we act in wisdom, and allow God’s word to determine our priorities in the home, we will build a home with a solid foundation for the future. Likewise, if we fail to pursue wisdom and give in to our selfish needs and harbor discontentment in our hearts, we will tear our homes down brick by brick.
Are the choices you make each day building your home or tearing it down?