Do you ever look at your life circumstances and question God?
I often find myself questioning God. A lot has happened during the last five years. My husband of 34 years abandoned me and our entire family. He still has no contact with his children or grandchildren. He left without telling us, changed his phone number, and moved to another state to live with his girlfriend. The shock was immense, and the impact his leaving had on the entire family was huge.
I developed multiple health issues after he left, suffered an injury that put me in a wheelchair for several months, lost my job as a result of my injury, experienced financial hardship, lost my health insurance, lost two pastors I thought the world of (one to cancer and one to suicide), watched the church I loved fall apart, was heartbroken when two of my children went through divorces, and watched my dad’s health and mental state deteriorate.
Life continues to be a struggle, due to my health issues, and at times I am physically and emotionally wiped out just trying to make it through the day.
I often turn to the book of Job when I find myself questioning God. Job had gone through a lot of hardships, much worse than what I’m experiencing. He questioned God and got quite an earful when God responded.
As we see in the verses below, taken from Job chapters 38-42, God offers Job no answers, only more questions.
- “Who is this who darkens my counsel without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you shall answer me.
- Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it?
- Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?
- Have you entered the storehouses of snow or seen the storehouses of hail?
- Where is the way to the place where the lightening is dispersed or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
- Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorms?
- From whose womb comes the ice?
- Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens?
- Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water?
- Do you send lightening bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
- Who provides food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food?
- Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
- Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
- Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom and spread his wings toward the south?
- Does the eagle soar at your command and build its nest on high?”
God continues questioning Job throughout chapters 38, 39, 40, and 41 for a total of 129 verses. It’s quite a humbling experience, not only for Job but also for me. Job’s meek reply in chapter 42 perfectly sums up how I feel after reading God’s response to Job.
“I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42: 1-6)
The book of Job is a wake-up call for me when I find myself questioning God. I know God is sovereign over everything, but sometimes I just need to be reminded!
I still don’t understand the reason why I’m experiencing some of the things that are presently happening in my life. However, I’m filled with awe as I reflect on the majesty and power of God revealed in the closing chapters of Job.
Like Job, when I see God as He truly is, I can humbly accept each trial and difficult circumstance in my life knowing it’s all part of God’s sovereign plan.
God blessed Job immensely during the second half of Job’s life. God is like that. He specializes in miracles. He brings beauty from ashes, and he redeems those who are lost and without hope.
In fact, I’ve already experienced many blessings following the difficult events of the last five years. I’ve always felt led to women’s ministry. Since my husband left, I’ve been able to minister encouragement to several other women who were abandoned by their spouses.
God blessed me with two new grandchildren. He also blessed me with a wonderful family and friends who were there for me at the time of my injury and subsequent recovery time. They made my house wheelchair friendly, so I could recover at home, brought me meals, visited, helped with cleaning, ran errands, and drove me to doctor’s appointments.
My injury and the loss of my job was the launching pad for my new career. I’ve always wanted to write for a living, but was always too afraid to quit my job. Being in a wheelchair and housebound gave me the free time I needed to set up a website and begin freelance writing.
Due to my financial hardship, I was given a scholarship to a well-known writing course and lifetime membership to a writer’s group, which was totally unexpected. I was also given money to replace my outdated computer with a new one.
My oldest granddaughter, Amayah Grace, became interested in missions work and took her first week-long missions trip to Kentucky. She is now in the process of becoming a junior camp counselor at a Christian camp. This is truly a blessing from God, because very few members of our family are walking with God.
While my health issues continue to worsen, I thank God each day that I can work from the comfort of my own home doing something I truly love. I can nap when I need extra rest, and I can work outdoors surrounded by nature when the weather is nice.
Good things do come out of the bad stuff. At times, we may not even see the good until we arrive in heaven. However, as Christians, we know the best is yet to come. With God, every life story has a happy ending.
What blessings have come out of the bad circumstances in your life?